By now you have dreamed BIG, which has hopefully
inspired you to conceive and pursue your dreams, among which is, again
hopefully, to run a marathon.
You
have made a decision – a true commitment distilled in the crucible of resolution
– that you are going to finish the marathon, and accordingly, you are
determined to set this dreamy decision to action.
In
this page we will explore goal making, the important next step to decision
making.
Once
an important decision is made, it is more important to immediately follow it
with both the development of a plan, and concentrated, persistent effort toward
fulfillment. This is why upon making the decision to run a marathon, it is
vital to capture the power of that decision and put it into a plan of action.
The act of decision making is powerful. Having just made such an important decision, you should feel that power. If you don’t feel it, I would suggest you’re your goal is not a BIG or inspiring as you originally thought it would be.
The transition from decision making to taking action is an excellent point at which you will learn if your dream is BIG or big. That is to say if you do not feel inspiration and motivation from your BIG decision, your goal is likely frivolous and does not mean anything to you. That’s why goals have to have true, personal, deep meaning.
What you need now is a plan to get from here to your dream. This, my fellow sojourner, is a goal.
Take a moment to consider this word: goal. Obviously, its roots are grounded in sports metaphor. Either that, or most sports are based upon this one word.
Merriam-Webster defines is as, “(1) the terminal point of a race; (2) the end toward which effort is directed; and (3) an area of object toward which players in various games attempt to advance a ball or puck and usually through or into which it must go to score points.”
The successful football team will reach its goal but only after practicing and putting forth a coordinated effort. The team will have conditioned their bodies to ensure their ability to expend everything they have to achieve their goal. They will follow plays. They will run the ball. They will pass. They will fail and have to punt on fourth downs. The team will rethink its strategy and select different plays to outsmart their opponents. Eventually, they will reach what? The goal line.
Basketball,
hockey, and soccer teams all fight the same struggles and for what? To shoot
and kick their balls and puck in the… goal.
Back
in Y2K I came across a web site that offered the most ridiculous running
gimmick I’ve ever seen. For a $39.95 membership fee, runners could join an
online club of people who aspire to run 2,000 kilometers during the year 2000.
For their money, suckers would receive a tee-shirt, a medallion – both of which
perhaps cost $10 total – words of encouragement and access to a web site of
unspecific purpose of value.
Though
I scoff at this gimmick, I do admire the creative goal setting. It’s the $40
fee that offends me. Two thousand kilometers in the year 2000 is a creative way
to set a goal, to get you outside, and motivated. Equally important, it lends
itself to structure. Obviously, if you’re going to run a finite distance in a
limited time, you will need to apportion your schedule to meet this goal.
Brilliant! I like it.
Your
goal, hopefully, will be 26.2 miles in one day. Doing that is not
as easy to structure as 2000 in 2000 because you can’t just parcel out equal
portions of 26 miles over the year. Rather, you have to condition your body’s
ability to run an extended distance in a very short period of time (relatively
speaking). The point of mentioning 2000/2000 is to demonstrate the creative
ways of getting off your fanny and hitting the road with a purpose.
So,
a goal is that object in the horizon toward which you are directing your
efforts. And if you dreamed BIG like you were supposed to, it is a bright,
shining BIG THING for which you are driven – compelled – to reach.
Like Frodo’s adventure to Mt. Doom, Odysseus’, uh, odyssey back home, or my daughter’s quest for the cookie jar, the goal represents a journey, and at the end of the journey the traveler will be transformed; a different person. THAT is a goal.
The following is NOT a goal….
Genie
Wishes and New Year’s Resolutions
Dreaming
of BIG THINGS and expecting them to happen are the central theme of this web site,
but they should not be confused with rubbing a genie lamp with the expectation
of granting your wishes immediately. No, you have to work for your success. And
you will determine quickly that you will only sweat and toil for only those
things you really care about. “Rubbing a genie lamp” is the equivalent of
wishing for whatever trivial passing fancy that peels your banana.
You
could say to yourself, “I wish I could play piano like that.” “I wish I had the
million bucks to buy that mansion.” “I wish I could fly a plane.” “I wish I
were the head of a big corporation.”
There
are thousands of these kinds of wishes for every human on the planet. Some
might be legitimate, but most are not. If you really, really wanted these
wishes to come true, you would do something about it. You might even focus all
your life’s energy in the direction of such an object. If you did, it would be
a goal. If you don’t, it is just a genie wish. Unlike genie wishes, goals are
meant for the hopes and dreams in life that you truly long for – real life
changing or purpose fulfilling desires.
Genie wishes are no different than my 4-year-old daughter’s oft repeated
declarations of “I want that!” during toy commercials between cartoons. Those
wishes have about as much value as the plastic used to make the toys.
And if genie wishes have as much life-fulfilling nutritional
value as saccharine, then New Year’s resolutions are Nutrasweet.
Do
not do New Year’s resolutions. There are no good New Year’s resolutions. Most
end in failure because they are not carefully considered and likely have little
purpose.
People
force themselves into the hype of New Year’s resolutions as if January 1 is
some special occasion on which to reset our personal clock or change our lives.
Truth is, time is an abstract concept created by humans, and the Winter
Solstice around which New Year’s occurs is as much a milestone in your personal
chronology as, say, January 2, or April 27, or August 15. The day doesn’t
matter. The act and your commitment to it are what are important.
New
Year’s Resolutionists also often toss off their declarations as if they’re
telling some subordinate what to do, lording over their “otherselves” as if
they can bark orders and expect them to be done. “This year I resolve not to be so lardy. OK,
Me, go unlard yourself. Well, get to it, fatty. Why aren’t you de-lardifying
yourself?!”
Truth is, the only New Year’s resolution – the best New Year’s resolution – is the one that happens anytime of year when you truly, honestly “resolve” yourself – religiously commit yourself – to do something. You can’t just resolve to quit smoking because you know its bad for you; you have to desire to quit. You have to make – as described in the previous chapter – a decision. It has to have almost a “religious” value to you to give it meaning and purpose. Otherwise a New Year’s resolution is just another self-imposed obstacle that will lead to failure and disappointment.
Most
importantly, most New Year’s resolutions lack everything necessary for a goal
to be successful: value, strategy, specificity, measurability, and
commitment.
The Five
Key Elements to a Successful Goal
Value
Anything
in life with little value is considered by definition superficial, trivial. And
there is certainly no motivation to vigorously pursue anything in life that is
meaningless. Though I have asked you to personally invest your life into
finishing a marathon, I admit that such a goal might not be your life’s
ambition.
The
anecdotes I have described about how I made a decision to run the
marathon give the appearance, I admit, that the marathon was less a
life-changing goal than it was a mere bar bet. OK. OK. Like most men caught
with their pants down I must respond, “This is not what it looks like.”
I
used to have asthma. I was diagnosed during my sophomore year in college. What a
miserable experience it was to live with the symptoms of this oppressive
affliction. Can you imagine what breathing would feel like with a 300-pound
fatty sitting on your chest? With a pillow on your face?
Until
I was diagnosed and treated after what seemed like an eternity of wheezing and
coughing, I could not exercise at all. Worst of all, I couldn’t sleep! Asthma
attacks would only occur in the dark of night in my deepest sleep.
After
a couple of years of treatment, the asthma was finally manageable; however, I
was concerned that the disease would prevent me from living a “normal” life, or
at least the life I wanted to live.
It
was also around this time that I had my life’s epiphany, having suffered for
years with depression. It was during my own personal Great Awakening that I
determined that I would live my life to the fullest, and that I would reach for
the stars, chase rainbows, and all that other greeting card nonsense. I
resolved that I would try everything, do everything, and be all that I wanted
to be. I wanted to live life to the absolute fullest.
I
also looked askance at my asthma, sulking in the corner of my life’s party just
waiting to ruin it. I further determined that no matter what I did, asthma
would not get in the way. And if it did, I would conquer it and move on. Or as the
storied Carthaginian general Hannibal put it,
“We will find a way
or make one.”
So,
sure. The pitchers of beer had a way of fertilizing my bravado, but for me the
marathon had value. I didn’t know it until that moment in the bar
because running a marathon hadn’t really occurred to me. But when it hit me, it
hit like a Mike Tyson blow to the ribs (the young Mike Tyson, not today’s Mike
Tyson).
Of
course I would run the marathon! How could I avoid it? My life demanded it, if
only to run over my asthma in the process.
Look,
goals must have meaning. Goals must have personal value. The goals in your life will take time to
develop -- they’re not just a “to do”
list. If you burden yourself with a lot of meaningless bric-a-brac,
you’ll become increasingly frustrated that you’ve got no time, energy, or focus
to accomplish the meaningful stuff
I’m
asking you to finish a marathon so you can understand what it feels like to
pursue and capture life’s meaningful ambitions, and to understand that what may
have seemed impossible before is really within your reach. In other words, I
want you to apply the lessons of the marathon BIG THING to all the BIG THINGS
in your life.
***** DO THIS NOW
*****
Dear
Reader, this might be the most transformational moment in your life (or at
least in this book). Take a day or two to think of all your life’s ambitions – one of which will include the marathon.
Do you want to be a photographer? A librarian? Do you want to scale a mountain
or swim the English Channel? Whatever it is, let your mind go wild. Write it
all down, no matter how stupid you think it is.
Put
down the book. Go for a walk. Think. Now come back, with pen in hand, and
commit this list to the empty page I’ve provided for you. It’ll be good to have
this list handy as you read on.
***** DO THIS NOW
*****
Stuff I
wanna do when I grow up:
As
important as it was for you to make this list, it is equally important to
review it from a value perspective.
Review
each item on the list and ask what is there to gain by accomplishing this?
What is there to lose?
What
difference will success make? Failure?
What
are you willing to sweat and cry for?
Ask
why. This is important to understanding the value of what you pursue.
Here
is your opportunity to cull from your list the dreams that are perhaps more
hollow than you may have originally imagined. Whether you cull them now or
later is less important than actually doing it before you engage in a
capricious odyssey for which you have no true burning desire. Otherwise, you
will find out sooner or later – usually out of frustration – that a goal means
little to you and that you are ready to give up.
Unfortunately,
when that time comes, you risk transferring the frustration of this meaningless
goal to the quite valuable exercise of goal making and goal pursuing. There are
good goals and there are bad goals. Only you know what is right for you. Don’t
mistake a bad experience for the true value of going after your BIG THINGS.
Strategy
In
his bestseller Visioneering, Andy Stanley describes the title’s meaning as
“the course one follows to make dreams a reality. It is the process whereby
ideas and convictions take on substance… [I]t is the engineering of a vision.”
This, in Sawyer-ese, is a strategy.
A
strategy is taking a concept and turning it into an invention. It is wanting to
go to the moon and figuring out how to get there. It is wanting to be a doctor
and designing a curriculum of courses and practice that will get you there. It
is wanting to cross a marathon’s finish line and designing the course you will
run to get you there. Stated simply, the strategy is turning your goal into
a plan of action.
A
strategy for a marathon is pretty simple, mainly because I help you outline a
training program, advise you on challenges, coach you on overcoming them, and
encourage you to push through. Indeed, the rest of this book is your marathon
strategy.
If
you want to be a doctor, find out everything you need to know about becoming
one. How much schooling is required? What is required to get into medical
school? How intense is the studying? How much does it cost? How does one pay
for it? After school, what comes next? Internship? Residency?
The
answers to these questions are easily obtained. Ask a doctor. Ask the Medical
Society. Ask the medical school admissions office. In other words, understand
everything about getting from now to your goal.
Next,
devise your plan (some elements of which are described below in Specificity,
Measurability and Commitment).
For
example, the first small goal is to get into college, which is a prerequisite
to get into medical school. To get into college, one must perform sufficiently
on the SAT. How many hours will you study?
Mentor /
Model
Perhaps
the easiest way to shape your strategy is to find and emulate a role model or
mentor who has succeeded where you hope to succeed.
Fiction
writers are taught early on in their graduate workshops that all the stories
have been told. There are no really unique plots; however, there are unique
characters and voices that cause stories to come alive.
Success,
I believe, is equally “unique,” and successful people are the reincarnation of
the skills, experience, and environment of their overachieving predecessors
throughout humanity.
The
steps they have taken in life can be repeated. There really is no mystery to
their success. Get to know them. Read their biographies. Channel their
knowledge and understand what they know and believe.
If
you are a lazy bum whose burning desire is to run a marathon, I’m your guy!
Follow my example! If you want to invest like Warren Buffet, read his story,
follow the Berkshire Hathaway shareholder report, and study his beliefs,
behavior and actions.
Sure,
we can’t very well emulate the first person to walk on Mars because that has
never happened (at least not by earthly humans), but an aspiring astronaut can
emulate Neil Armstrong and apply that awareness while reaching a little higher
and farther to achieve a Martian goal.
Strategic
Vision
Andy
Stanley further describes in his book Visoneering that people without a
clear vision are easily distracted. They have a tendency to drift from one
activity, pleasure, or relationship to another. Without vision, there is no
rational, financial, or moral compass. Consequently, they make foolish
decisions that rob them of their dreams.
This
is why a vision or strategy are necessary parts of your goal making.
Once
your goal is identified and personal value is determined, design your strategy
with specificity, measurability and commitment.
Specificity
If
you are not accustomed to making and pursuing goals, you will need to give
yourself more direction that you’re used to. To train for the marathon, you
will need to do more than merely “train for the race.” Specificity (that is, being specific about the actions you need to
take) takes the guess work and confusion out of the training regimen. The more
decision making and details you can take care of early on, the less worry and
mystery there is about, say, the number of miles you run, when to run, where to
run, etc. (these are details we will cover later)
Pick
a specific date for a marathon. In fact, the date of the marathon – your
end point – is actually the best place to start. As Stephen Covey
(author of the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) might say, begin with the end in mind. Pick the
date of the race and build a strategy that culminates on that date.
On
Tuesday, Thursday and Friday you might run 4 miles each day.
On
Wednesday you can rest or lightly cross-train for 30 minutes.
Monday
and Saturday you can run easy 2 to 3 miles.
Sunday
you will run 10 miles. Next Sunday you will run 12 miles, and 14 miles the
following Sunday.
Knowing
that you have to work late on some days, early on others, you will adjust your
training schedule precisely to reflect that. So, say, Mondays, Tuesdays and
Wednesdays are late nights. Your schedule will reflect that and indicate that
you run at 5:00 a.m. on Monday and Tuesday, and you will either rest or cross-train
on Wednesday. Wednesday’s calendar will precisely reflect what kind of
cross-training you will do. Swimming? Walking? Biking? Put it down because come
Wednesday morning, if you don’t know, you might easily give up on yourself. The
point is that you spell out the details well before you actually run. Also,
this helps you track your progress.
Fuel
up when the tank is low. You will develop a specific list of grocery items that
you will keep supplied to ensure that your body has all it needs maintain endurance.
Plan specific foods and meals for breakfast, snacks, lunch and supper. Failure
to do so means you will likely improvise with what is easiest and most
attainable: junk food. A Big Mac or bag of chips might feel mighty satisfying
in the moment, but when you’re bloated, poorly nourished and constipated, don’t
come crying to me. In fact, keep your distance and go eat some roughage.
Two
nights before your long run, it is good to eat a pasta supper. If Sunday is
your long run day, then noodle up on Friday. Friday becomes pasta night.
These
are just a couple of examples. What’s important to grasp is that specificity
means mining down to the smallest detail of your goal-oriented actions.
You
have to know the specific details ahead of time; otherwise, each day will be
wasted wondering if you’re running the right number of miles and if you’re
making progress.
In
fact, specificity is the way to chart
your progress. By establishing the specific steps you need to take to reach
your goal, when a specific task is done, you have validated that you’re getting
closer to the proverbial – and actual – finish line. Specificity – the act of
being specific about the steps necessary for progress – is an important feature
of all honest goal making in life.
If
you want to get from one end of your house to another, well, that’s a goal.
Plotting
a course through the living room and family room and hallway to get to the
other side – that’s a strategy.
Specificity is detailing step by
step, maneuvering around a piece of furniture, turning a knob and opening the
family room door, and turning on a light so you can see down the hallway.
Specificity
also means empowerment. The more
details you control in your life and in goal making, the more your life is
under your command (as opposed to your boss, group of friends, family, society,
etc.).
As
tedious as it seems, it is this kind of detail that supports the success of
great achievers in business, sports, celebrity, and life.
Measurability
A
very important component to a successful goal and effective strategy is being
able to measure one’s progress.
I’m
sure we all do it. On long road trips we look at the map. There is Point A and
Point B. We understand that the trip is 500 miles and that it will take about 8
hours to drive. Yet we can’t help but frequently review the map to see if we
have passed through Palookaville or determine how much longer it is until the
next town Wherethehellamiburg.
We
want to check our progress. We want to know if we’re on track and on time. It
is instinctive.
A
trip through the desert, with no milestones or landmarks would be a pretty
lonely, frustrating journey. And even in the punishment of solitary
confinement, prisoners lose their minds because they have no way of tracking
“progress” or otherwise count the days they have left. They don’t know, and it
is the void of uncertainty that drives them maaaaaaaad!
Likewise,
it is a long, arduous journey between here and your goal. Since your goal is a
personal endeavor, you might call it “solitary” since you are pursuing the goal
on your own. Without any benchmark to indicate progress, it will be easy to
lose sight of the goal. It will be even easier to get distracted and off
course. The combination of frustration
and uncertainty are the Destructive
Duo who will conspire to snuff out your goal, the result of which, in my
opinion, is one of life’s great tragedies.
If
yours is a Big Thing goal, you likely have never attempted it before, which
means that unless you plot a strategy with specificity and measurable
benchmarking, you won’t know where you’re going as you traverse through
unchartered territory.
Conversely,
measurable results can be a source of powerful motivation. Tracking the small
accomplishments along the way is the absolute best indication that you are on
your way! It means your strategy is right, or that you’re making it right, and
that it is all coming together!
Part
of measurable success is a result of being specific. You are determined to run
10 miles on Saturday, March 10. If on Sunday, March 11 you can look back 24
hours and confirm that you did indeed run 10 miles on Saturday, then you have
succeeded.
In
fact, being specific in your goal making is key to measuring your progress. We
have already covered the importance of being specific in marathon planning, but
really this is critical to all goal making for any of your dreams.
For any of your goals to have meaning and viability, they have to exist on a map. A map in this case is a calendar. Commit your goals to a specific timeline.
Do
you want to be a millionaire? How long do you think it will take you? 10 years?
Mark a detailed, specific course that leads you to the wealth you want on this
very day 10 years from now.
Do
you want to be president? When? 20 years from now? Mark a detailed, specific
course of political and public service that will lead you to the Oval Office by
January 20, twenty years from now.
Think about what you have learned thus far about goals, value, strategy, and specificity. Because goals have to have meaning and personal value, ask yourself, “Why is this important to me?” “Am I committed to getting this done by such-and-such date?” “Will it change my life? Or add to it?” Such introspection will help shape your course and allow you to establish the benchmarks that indicate your progress or your need for improvement.
The
best benchmarks of measurable success are what I call small goals, which
are essentially the stepping stones to your uber goal.
Small goals
There
are too many variables that affect your ability to attain your goal. That’s a lot of time and energy to manage
unforeseen events. Small goals are like
hand-to-hand combat or short, manageable steps that get you to your goal. A series of short, easier goals is equal to
one, large, “impossible” goal. By
succeeding in numerous smaller goals, you are likely to increase your energy,
motivation and self-confidence.
Publishing
this book is a BIG THING goal (at least for me) comprised of several small
goals. I could never have written this book were it not for breaking it up into
small, manageable pieces that I could easily digest. Notwithstanding that all
of it is in my head, when sat down the first time to hammer out a small book
from A to Z, I was immediately daunted, disconcerted, discouraged and
disenchanted. I was intimidated by the thought of swallowing a whale in one
sitting. I couldn’t do it!
It
was just too much until I remembered my own philosophy of small goals. By
consuming the whale pieces at a time, over time, I would swallow that sucker
yet! And if you are reading this right now, you know I did.
In
marathoning, the small, measurable goals are just as obvious. The long runs of
10, 12, 14, 16, 18, and 20 miles are certainly significant benchmarks.
Completing any one of these small goals is an achievement in itself.
Think
of it. Have you ever run 12 miles? Can you imagine it? It is a small goal on
the way to your larger goal. You’re gonna do it on the way to marathon glory!
Drawing
again on the “I want to be a doctor” paradigm, one can measure success by
getting into college, get the necessary grades, getting into medical school,
and getting into an internship. Sure, these are obvious benchmarks, and an
aspiring doctor can modify appropriate, personal small goals, but it is
important to understand that often there are obvious indicators of our success
that are occasionally, or routinely, dismissed as incidental. They are,
however, your best report card on your progress.
Think
also of a football team. A football team wants the touchdown. It is literally
their goal. But they don’t normally go for it each play. Usually – and I’m not
coach – they seek small goals. Several first downs to get them closer. Each
play is not intended to gain 100 yards and score a touchdown; rather, they are
more designed for short yardage.
The Highly
Effective Habit of Habit Forming
In
an unaccredited fortune cookie somewhere, the fortune reads that habits are
formed by routinely repeating a pattern of behavior for 30 days. Other conventionally
wise fortune cookies elaborate on signal stimuli and environmental influence that
also lead to habit forming. Were these fortune cookies the words of lettered
professionals, they would all likewise conclude that a habit is the product of
persistent behavioral patterns.
Habits
include smoking when bored or eating when anxious. Other habits include
enduring excruciating traffic every morning and wasting another 9 hours at your
lousy job.
What
is most characteristic of a habit is that it requires little to no thinking. In
other words, our habits are almost automatic and practically involuntary. While
I have described what appears to be bad, unpleasant habits, and have otherwise
painted a negative picture of habitry, I am about to encourage you to form… a
habit (gasp!).
Another
important feature of establishing small goals is that they help reinforce the
behavior you rely on to accomplish your goal. Call it training, call it a
habit, but the frequent, regular routine of training should eventually become
an automatic function in your life like brushing your teeth and teasing your
hair. What? You don’t tease?
Herein
lies the gist of Stephen Covey’s multi-platinum bestseller, The Seven Habits
of Highly Effective People. Covey’s premise is that the more we adopt
leadership and results-oriented behavioral patterns and integrate them into our
pathology, our very fiber, then we essentially train ourselves to become more
effective, productive people. By making such behavior habitual, we eventually
lose awareness that we’re trying to become more effective people, and we
transform ourselves into automatically effective leaders. It is quite the
transcendental premise. I encourage you to read Covey’s book.
Reward is
its own Reward
By
setting up small, achievable goals, you will reinforce the actions and behavior
necessary to reach your overall goal. An even better way to help prod you along
is to reward yourself. That’s right. More than just reaching over your shoulder
for a pat on the back, give yourself something to look forward to in addition
to reaching your small goal.
If
your goal is to lose 30 pounds, don’t wait until you have reached 30 pounds to
reward yourself; celebrate when you lose 5 pounds, then 10 pounds, 15 pounds,
and so on. Obviously your reward isn’t a Whopper with cheese. Maybe it is a new
pair of jeans or a music CD.
Whatever
the reward, it is yours to choose, but please do give yourself a tangible,
meaningful “atta boy” when you reach the small goals. Not only does it give you
something to look forward to, it lubricates the process of achieving your goal
and reinforces the positive behavior you want. It works for dogs and children,
why not ourselves?
Failure /
Set Backs
A
benefit of measuring the progress of a specific, value-oriented strategy is
that when failure darkens your doorstep, it can be dismissed as incidental, not
coincidental, to your goal.
A
strategy, as your plan to fulfill that purpose and reach your goal, is merely a
means to an end – albeit a very important means to a very important end. The
strategy should never be confused with the goal it supports, so when you
encounter failure along the path, do not assume that your goal is unachievable
or worthless. It is not. It remains pure gold.
On
the other hand, your strategy might be kaput. If you fail, keep trying. Failure
doesn’t mean your goal is wrong, it means your plan is wrong. Ask yourself what
went wrong and what needs to be fixed? Adjusted? Eliminated? Improved?
Remember,
the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting
a different result each time.
Never
lose faith that you know how to reach your goal. If you crap out in a 10-mile
race while training for your marathon, analyze what went wrong and endeavor to
fix it (dehydrated, soreness, cramps, fatigue?). Don’t think for a moment that
26.2 miles is impossible.
You’ve
heard that when Failure closes the door, Opportunity open a window. Failure is
not the end. It is only an interruption. Just ask Abraham Lincoln. Better
still, ask me.
Commitment
What is success? I believe success is maintaining faithfulness to the
process, or in a word, commitment. We must celebrate the little successes
along the way. Instead of cursing your surroundings, celebrate your
faithfulness in spite of them. The problem with cursing your surroundings is
that it becomes your focus and undermines your commitment. This diminishes your
ability to concentrate on what’s before you.
The goal is on the horizon and the strategy is your path. Motivation, energy and self-discipline keep you on the path. Questions get you back on track or steer you to a better track. These concepts effectively serve as your blinders to get you focused.
Playing the Odds
Successful
gamblers, athletes, and even politicians – to randomly name a few – achieve
their success by learning everything they can about the variables that
influence their ability to triumph. There are obstacles that work against the
competitor and those that help. Those who strive to accentuate the positive and
eliminate the negative – to coin a phrase – will “play the odds” to their
favor.
A
gambler will avoid the long odds of an older horse that wins fewer races and performs
poorly at certain tracks, while favoring the young, healthy horse that excels
in any condition. [I’m not a gambler, so I hope this metaphor worked for you.]
Sad, but true: politicians know that certain demographic slices of humanity regularly vote. Candidates know where these voters live, generally how they vote, and their likelihood of voting. Campaigns are expensive, so office seekers target specific voters and lean on them like their lives depend on it. In other words, politicians improve their lot by mobilizing the bloc of voters that will elect them and to hell with the rest. They are “playing the odds.”
A basketball player will most likely take chances on shooting many high-probability shots closer to the basket than the high-risk shots outside the perimeter. Or a football team will watch films of their opponents. The more they know about the environment and obstacles that will influence their success, the better their chances of exploiting those influences and making success their own.
This is not to suggest that high risk will not lead to high reward, but the chances of failure are greater when one opts for the long shot. In fact, there is a reason it is called a “long shot.” For the goal seeker and marathon runner, the chances of success are imminently greater when they identify the most powerful influences in their lives and nearer to the positive ones and cut loose the negative ones.
I
call all of this “playing the odds to your favor.” By exposing yourself to the
positive and motivational, and by removing the negative and stressful, you will
your environment by controlling the influences that direct your life. You’ll be
inspired with power and energy and confidence to accomplish anything. With confidence and hope, there is nothing
you can’t do.
Playing the odds in your favor is, in my opinion, a critical component to training for and finishing the marathon; to achieving all your life’s goals; and to being happy and fulfilled in life.
What are some of the influences you must manage to help you play the odds? Motivation, energy, self-discipline. The negative forces of these influences, among many other challenges, can conspire to defeat your attempts to reach your goal. Without motivation, where’s the passion and desire for success? Without energy, where is the fuel that propels you toward the finish line? Without self-discipline, how will you commit to the hard work that’s required to reach any of life’s goals? These, in a manner of speaking, are the odds. You can “play the odds to your favor” or ignore them as they array themselves against you.
Motivation
Motivation
is the key to achieving any goal as well as remaining happy and enthused in
life. If motive is the impulse that causes us to act, motivation
is our mental and spiritual machinery designed to mobilize a person toward a
goal. It is our passion to live, and for the goal-oriented person, it is the
passion for life.
Personal power sensei Anthony Robbins says, “Giant goals produce giant motivation.” Having inspirational goals motivates us to get out of bed every morning to embrace the greatness we earn by achieving our goals.
Dare I say it, it is nearly impossible to roll out of bed each morning and awaken with a passion for life without motivation. There will be days, alas, when you are despondent. Here, the odds are playing against you. To allow this to persist is to welcome defeat.
Play
these odds in your favor by seeking the inspirational. Who or what motivates
you? Is it God? Is it a leader like Lincoln, Gandhi or King? Is it civic action
like environmental protection or human rights? Is it a brave soldier, social
activist, or exemplary athlete? Could it be a book like To Kill a
Mockingbird or On the Road? Is it a dancer, artist, actor, athlete?
Your spouse? Your children? A clear blue sky? A field of flowers? An iceberg? A
mountain? An eagle? A pot of gold? Pot?
We find inspiration in the most peculiar, personal places. Only you know what inspires you. In fact, please take a moment – NOW! – to think about those moments in your life when your heart soared, when you felt 10 feet tall, and when you had the confidence of a lion. What about when you were stirred up emotionally and intellectually?
*DO THIS NOW*
Us the following page
write down these moments and influences in your life.
*DO THIS NOW*
Stuff
that sizzles my bacon
Now,
spend some time contemplating what you wrote down. Can you remember what
inspired you? Was it a person, place, thing or occasion? Think hard. Refine it
down to a moment of clarity, a “diamond bullet in the forehead” as Colonel
Kurtz described in Apocalypse Now.
If you can recall it (that is to say, call upon it) you have your source of inspiration. Having this source of inspiration can be duplicated, replicated, imported and transported. You can carry it with you and channel it whenever you need a lift, whenever you need a reminder of what’s important and why you are passionate about your goal and about life.
As
I stated, we all find inspiration in the most peculiar, personal places. Allow
me to share with you some of mine:
The PBS American Experience biopic of Theodore Roosevelt. What an inspiration. His life was as full as the earth he lived in. I knew very little about the life and enthusiasms of Roosevelt before watching this. This show was followed by volumes of biographies I consumed to learn more about him. Though he lived more than 50 years ahead of my time, Roosevelt changed my life. He is an inspiration, and to remind myself of his life and that which moves me, I keep his portrait near.
Jon Krakauer’s Into Thin Air. Crazy as it seems, Krakauer’s story of eight doomed climbers on Mt. Everest actually inspired me to summit Mt. Kilimanjaro. It wasn’t the story of death and suffering that moved me; rather, it was Krakauer’s very personal autobiography of mountain climbing and how it was his obsession. Mountain climbing to him was practically religious. I felt that while reading the book, and knowing that I had little interest in becoming a technical mountain climber risking life and limb to perch atop Mother Earth’s highest peaks, I was inspired enough to take the challenge to Africa’s highest mountain, Kilimanjaro.
Jon Krakauer’s Into the Wild. Is it a coincidence that I read this book cover-to-cover during my 14-hour layover in the U.K en route to my destiny with Kilimanjaro? This Krakauer story tells the true tale of a young man from an affluent family who gave up everything – namely hygiene – to live a life on the road. Another Krakauer tragedy, the protagonist ends up dead in Alaska’s wilderness under curious circumstances. Again, the overall story isn’t what captured my imagination; it was Krakauer’s autobiographical linkage of his life to that of the main character. Doing so he explored the primeval motivations of wanderlust and empathized with the protagonist’s journey of self-discovery in the wild, which so captured my imagination.
Jack Kerouac’s On the Road. This book instilled in me a spirituality of adventure. I believe that humans are naturally wild at heart, and when we follow our hearts, we’ll go to wild places. No, I’m not suggesting joining the circus or making your life at the corner of Haight and Asbury. But when you examine your heart and explore its desires you will find yourself in places (see Into Thin Air above), a state of mind (see “beer” below), and a spiritual awareness (see Gospels below) that you would otherwise never find unless by accident. To paraphrase Robert Kennedy, who paraphrased George Bernard Shaw, “There are those who long to find their place in the world and ask ‘Where?’ I prefer to dream of open frontier and ask, ‘Where to?’”
The pitcher of beer prelude to my decision to run my first marathon. What can I say? Liquid bravery.
The pitcher of beer prelude to my decision to skydive. Uhh. What can I say? Oops.
The Gospels. Hey, Jesus saved my life. I don’t care what they may know. I don’t care what they may do. I don’t care what they may say. Jesus is just all right. Oh, yeah. (with apologies to the Doobie Brothers).
Inspiration can come from watching movies like Dead Poets Society, Rocky and Pre, or whatever fills your pants with ants. Much of my inspiration, as you can tell, comes from books, and occasionally beer. Whenever I feel like I need a pick me up, I look for a biography or heroic story to lift me up. To me, the books are trophies of inspiration that adorn my shelves; a conspicuous reminder of what moves me.
My books are no different than taping a picture to your mirror of the dress you long to fit in or the poster on the wall of the hero you most admire – and seek to emulate.
They are like little monuments. In fact, what is a monument if not a physical memorial (i.e., something designed to make us remember) of an inspirational person, place or event. Ostensibly, the Lincoln Memorial is designed for us to remember the heroic figure of Abraham Lincoln and to find inspiration from his example of heroic leadership during our nation’s lowest moment. Indeed, there’s a reason Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., delivered his “I Have a Dream” speech at the Lincoln Memorial, and it wasn’t merely because of the Emancipation Proclamation. King sought to cast his persona in the mold of America’s greatest, most humble leader. He found inspiration in Abraham Lincoln, and today millions around the globe find inspiration in King.
The point is this: you know what inspires you. You may have to remind yourself. You might even have to leave clues and little monuments and posters and pictures to remain tethered to it. Tap into that resource and make it energize you.
Since this is a book about goal achievement and marathon completion, allow me to refine this in the context of running. To remain focused and motivated on training, I subscribe to emails and magazines about running that share with me techniques on training and tips on eating. There are personal stories of runners who struggle, fail, and succeed. There are how-tos on staying motivated and focused.
The real value, in my opinion, is a regular, frequent exposure to the running life, without which I might be tempted to stray and lose interest. One day of skipped running could turn into several days, perhaps weeks. One unhealthy meal could turn into a saturated fat love affair that could lead to outright nutrition adultery. A day in the dumps could become the pity party that galvanizes into apathy and indifference.
Other helpful influences can be where you run. Perhaps the most motivational place to run is the National Mall in Washington, DC, or the LSU Lakes in Baton Rouge, LA. I am lucky to have trained at both.
You can be inspired by your running partner or from music you listen to while running. I use my running time to think big thoughts, which actually puts the spring in my step.
Staying focused – with the help of outside influences – is key to sustained motivation in training and in life. By surrounding yourself with the things that inspire you, you are playing the odds to your favor.
Paul’s attempt at
being profound:
A
lump of clay is nothing until it is shaped. If you condition yourself to
manage outside influences that help shape you, the source of power
available to you is limitless.
|
Let me make a clear distinction that – to me – is important. I don’t subscribe to most motivational speakers whose messages are quite simply, “Let a smile be your umbrella” or “smile and the world smiles with you.” There are a lot these motivational speakers and thinkers making a lot of money off depressed, vulnerable people. I’m not saying they’re necessarily wrong or bad. In fact, they might even help some people.
I believe, however, that life is much more complicated and that the forces of humanity and nature are often too powerful to be overcome by a dopey smile or daily affirmation. If life were that easy, people would be happier and alcoholics, drug abusers and smokers could be unshackled from their torture with a mere grin and greeting card.
I think it is wrong to believe that life is as simple as a smile. But, I will go to my grave arguing that a happy life if impossible without it.
Well, what the hell does that mean?
Just like motivation is nurtured in an environment of inspiration, a happy life is optimized when you create an environment of happiness.
How contagious is laughter when you see others laughing? How much harder do you laugh when others laugh with you? It is easy to find joy when the world around you is happy. And, clearly, external influences affect your disposition. Otherwise, how else could you explain why funny people cause milk to come out your nose? So why not surround yourself as often as you can with those people, places, things, and occasions that bring you joy?
Ask yourself these questions:
How do you behave when you’re happy? I whistle and sing, and to the horror of others, occasionally dance. I believe that if you did these things more frequently, you would find your mood a little lighter, a little more often. Do you whistle and sing when you’re in a good mood. Try it now; see how you feel.
I sometimes whistle and sing to become happy, not necessarily as a passive effect of me becoming happy. In other words, some stimuli like singing and whistling can be as much the cause as the effect.
What things make you happy? Books, as you already know, strike my fancy. Some people find happiness in clothes and jewelry, and while I am loathe to encourage a quest for happiness in material things, it is undeniable that such objects cause some people happiness. So, what is it that appeals to you? How do you feel when you hold these things? When I have a book, I am content, focused, and quite satisfied. Do you like collecting items? Does a vase of flowers cheer you up? If the nouns that bring you joy inspire such feelings, why not cause yourself to be with them and near them often?
Are there places that bring you happiness? One word: BEACH. I
looooooove the beach. I want to be there right now! I want to hear the waves
crashing, the gulls laughing, the beer cans cracking, and the sunscreen
a-slapping. I just love the outdoors. Period. Hiking. Fishing. Walking.
Running. I am completely, totally blissful when I’m outdoors, and especially
when the outdoors = beach. Do you have similar experiences? Are there places
you go that cause emotions to stir? A store? A restaurant? Home? Museum?
Another city? Another country? Maybe you like to visit a mentally far away
place. Whatever floats your boat is fine. I won’t judge. However, if there is a
place or places that bring you happiness, try visiting those places as often as
you can. Even making plans to go or flipping through photos and memories of
those places can inspire glee. Yes, glee.
What
people make you happy? My wife, kids and family. Well, most of my family. And
if you are a family member reading this book, consider yourself one of my favs.
I might add that I had a dog once that I loved as much as a human family
member. He was, I think, my best friend. While his four paws padded this earth,
he brought be considerable friendship and joy. Maybe the happy people in your
life are pets. Either way, spend more time with both and you’ll find yourself
quite the happy camper.
What activities bring you pleasure? I like fishing, reading, playing with my kids and running. I even like working in the yard. I like to travel with my wife and take her to restaurants. My daughter’s soccer games are pretty fun, and going on walks with my little son brings a smile to my face just writing about it. What do you enjoy doing for pleasure? Is there anything stopping you from engaging in these activities more often? If so, finish reading this book, which teaches you how to get what you want. If not, make a point of doing these things more often. You’ll find it is good for your mind and your soul.
As
it is with motivation, the key to happiness is not that difficult to find.
Sure, life will be hard and surprise us all with unexpected unpleasantness. But
those occasions are as rare as they are unavoidable. In the meantime you are
the only one who can control how you feel. I believe happiness is a choice
– I really do – and if you choose to be happy, it is easy to be
happy, particularly if you draw yourself nearer to those things that make you
happy.
Think
of it this way: you like being comfortable, right? Who doesn’t? You know how to
make yourself comfortable by sitting or lying down when you’re tired, and
snuggling in a blanket or sweater when you’re cold, and removing your clothes
when you’re hot (though that will likely make the rest of us uncomfortable).
As simpleton as it seems, the same is true with motivation and happiness.
Find what inspires you, find what makes you happy, and wrap yourself in it like
a Snuggie.
Play
these “happy” odds in your favor by surrounding yourself, or getting yourself
near, those people, places, things, and occasions that bring you joy. Who or
what brings you happiness? Only you know.
Please
take a moment – yes, NOW! – to think what behavior you demonstrate when
you’re happy and what things bring you happiness or cause you to be happy.
*DO THIS NOW*
Take a sheet of paper
and write down these happy moments
and influences in
your life.
*DO THIS NOW*
A few
of my favorite things
There you have it. There’s your “happy list.” You now have your source of happiness. Choose to be happy and draw on this list to channel its power whenever you need a lift, whenever you need a reminder of what’s important and why you are on this planet.
Remember, you are the source of your own emotions.
Energy
Energy
is the fuel that powers you toward success. Energy can be mental and physical.
Mental energy, as described above, is called motivation. Physical energy comes
from real fuel: food. To remain energized, it is important to eat responsibly
and exercise regularly. This is described in greater detail in the “Nutrition”
chapter.
Eating responsibly means understanding what your body needs to be strong. To succeed, surround yourself with the right foods and establish an eating pattern that addresses your body’s needs and what satisfies you. The more you know about your body’s requirements, the better equipped you are to remain strong. Plus, if you take the time to understand what your body needs, you may make it possible to enjoy the things you want.
Responsible nutrition doesn’t mean eating only tofu and bean sprouts; it means a balance of a variety of food sources – including fats – to remain healthy. Again, surround yourself in an environment of nutrition and a pattern of responsible eating. This will give you the physical energy that is compatible with – no, critical to – mental energy.
Read
the “Nutrition” page, and then make a shopping list of all the healthy
foods you need to eat each week to stay physically energized – which of
course will help with your mental energy as well.
Self-discipline
So
how does everything we’ve covered so far get accomplished? Self-discipline.
Self-discipline means being the boss, the boss over yourself. Are you a good
boss? A good manager?
It is easy to tell others what to do because they, not you, are burdened with the work and follow through. As a boss, you tell your worker what you want, how you want it, and when you want it, and, theoretically, the order is executed accordingly. If the worker fails to meet the boss’ demands, the worker risks getting canned.
How are you as a boss over yourself? When you tell yourself to do something, do you do it timely and appropriately? Or do you get to a task when you whenever you feel like it (“manana, manana.”)? Really, the only person you have to accommodate and impress is you. So what if you don’t do what you tell yourself to do?
As with motivation and energy, self-discipline is fortified by immersing yourself in a nurturing environment, which in this case is an environment of determination and persistence, and by creating a routine – a pattern – of repetitive behavior and activities – like a training schedule.
Self-discipline, more than anything, requires outside influences: a coach, a teammate, a friend. Self-discipline is the key, the fulcrum, and the capstone of personal power. When we sacrifice it for the “easy way” or the “sure thing” we render ourselves powerless. This is so obvious, but it is a point lost on all those who continue to fail.
If you ask any successful athlete, businessperson, or professional whatever, they will tell you that their success developed from a pattern of persistence and determination (i.e., self discipline). The real “secret” to success – if there is indeed any real “secret” – is how the successful were disciplined to remain focused and intent on their goals.
The behavior pattern of self-discipline comes from inside, and failing that, it is borrowed from outside influences. I’ll admit it, my will is as strong as wilted lettuce, but my desire and passion are massive. Wanting to succeed (desire) is substantially unique from the will to succeed (discipline); therefore, I have to “borrow” discipline from others. I tell people about my goals and progress, thereby tapping into peer pressure. I seek the advice of coaches and friends who motivate me to persist. I tap into the countless reserves of motivation the we listed above that inspire me, excite me, and remind me of the importance of success.
Outside influences help keep me focused when I fail to maintain concentration myself.
So I’ll state it once more: play the odds in your favor. Game the system. Do whatever it takes for you to overcome your obstacles by surrounding yourself with success and establishing behavior patterns of success.
Ask Questions
Anthony
Robbins says, “Questions are the answer.”
“Questions set off a processional effect that has an impact beyond our imagination. Questioning our limitations is what tears down the walls in life. I believe all human progress is preceded by new questions.”
I
believe that life is as difficult, or simple, as we make it. I believe each of
us has the intellect to climb out of bad situations, survive under tumultuous
circumstances, and thrive as boldly as we desire.
I also believe that Socrates’ gift to pupil Plato was more than an historic education: the Socratic Method of asking questions unlocked the mysteries of life itself. Though risking hyperbole in that statement, I believe that humans are logical, and that by asking questions about our environment and circumstances – like Socrates to Athens – our minds pull back the shroud of doubt, ignorance, and frustration to reveal awareness about our individual realities.
In other words, if we keep asking “how, what and why,” eventually we will come to the answer we seek.
While training for a marathon, one might ask, “How in the hell am I going to run 10 miles?” A better question to ask is, “I must pass 10 miles to get to 26.2 miles. What do I need to do to run 10 miles?”
Answer: You need to condition your body.
Question: How must I condition my body?
Answer: Run 4 miles four times a week, eat a fortified diet, and run one long run once a week until your mileage equals 10 miles or more.
Question: When will I find time to do that? My work schedule won’t allow.
Answer: Because finishing a marathon is so important to you, you must find 45 minutes each day, and two hours on the weekend. You must run early in the morning or after work.
Question: It is too dark in the morning and night. I don’t want to risk injury.
Answer: Run on a tread mill.
… and it goes. Remember that questions help probe deeper until you reach your answer. Many people assess a situation and determine immediately without much thought that it is impossible. If you’re stuck in a bad situation, ask “How can I make it better?” And ask with the attitude and conviction that nothing is impossible.
Since you are trying to advance your mind and body forward, frame your questions positively so you reach for your answer in the direction of your goal. Ask questions that empower your spirit and motivate you to reach higher.
Don’t dwell on unhelpful, pitiful, demoralizing questions like,
Why
Me?
Why
does this always happen to me?
Why
are you blaming me?
Oh,
why Lord?
What’s
the use?
Why
bother?
To make a positive difference in your journey toward personal greatness, ask empowering questions like,
How can I make this better?
How can I make my position stronger?
What do I need to do smarter?
Anthony
Robbins’ Problem Solving Questions
- What is great
about this problem?
- What is not
perfect yet?
- What am I
willing to do to make it the way I want it?
- What am I
willing to no longer do in order to make it the way I want it?
- How can I enjoy the process while I do what is necessary to make it the way I want it?
Ask and Ye
Shall Receive
As
a Christian whose life was transformed way back in what I call my Epiphany
(Hey! It just occurred to me that that’s actually a religious event, so I guess
the term is apropos), I ask questions when I pray like, “God, will you please
teach me what I need to know or do to succeed?” “Will you open my eyes, mind
and heart so that I may know what you want me to know?”
I don’t ask, “God, please will you give me this,” or “God please deliver me from Y.” I ask for his help to acquire the tools, skills and knowledge I need to earn my way to what I want.
Look,
I am not evangelical, but I am grounded in the Spirit. I am not preaching to
you, but allow me to elaborate further on meaningful prayer. In 2000 author
Bruce Wilkinson published a wildly popular booked called The Prayer of Jabez,
the story, explanation, and application of the petition to God by an obscure
Israelite, Jabez, hidden amongst the Old Testament begats in 1 Chronicles 4:10.
Without context, narrative or exposition, Jabez is merely mentioned among his long list of ancestry as being a good fella notable for his unique prayer, which pleads,
“Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request.”
When the book was published, it was received by many Christians – though not all – as a sort of genie lamp incantation that when said would make the petitioner’s wishes come true, which I do not believe was the author’s intent.
On the contrary, I think the author, and Jabez himself, meant that if the Lord granted him a wide sphere of influence – be it property, wealth, recognition – he would command great influence among his people and better serve as an example of a pious Hebrew, thereby encouraging other Hebrews to follow his lead. Jabez was not seeking – if I may liberally infer that which I didn’t write – wealth and status for the sake of wealth and status.
Jabez’s prayer was not a series of questions, per se, like I am promoting. It is, however, a petition, and what is a petition if it is not a request for change? In other words, it is a question. The Jabez prayer seeks empowerment for the sake of serving a greater purpose. In the quest for your goal, questions, too, can be empowering psychological tools to direct you, empower you, toward a greater purpose. Avoid superficial, useless questions like, “Why did that jackass get a promotion and not me,” and turn your attention toward empowering, Jabez-like petitions like, “What can I do to be better and earn that promotion?”
Prayer is my daily routine of questions and self-examination
- Praise –
expression of worship and awe in the Lord. Reminding myself of his powers.
- Thankfulness –
Thanking him for the goodness – and problems in life.
- Forgiveness –
Recognizing my faults. Asking for forgiveness and requesting strength,
power, and wisdom to overcome.
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